If you’re reading this, then congratulations! You have stumbled on one of the worst blogs of all time, Worst of All Time. Your prize is having to read my blog. The goals of Worst of All Time are simple and merciless. This blog will serve as a living, breathing article of a very special kind of history–the history of awful things.
We all know about bad movies, and we all laugh at the same failures. But rarely do we ourselves venture out into the world of camp, of so-bad-it’s-still-bad, of pure unadulterated garbage. But that’s what I’m here for, Internet. You can thank me later.
Wherever there is a terrible 90’s cash-in movie starring a washed-up wrestler, I’ll be there. Wherever there is an album so downright offensive to the ears that it becomes relegated to the shadows, I’ll be there. Wherever there is anything brought into this cruel world with no apparent purpose but to serve as the pure physical manifestation of objective awfulness, you better believe I’ll be there.
Like most people, I do not enjoy bad things. I like good things. But throughout the span of human existence, there’s been a lot of debate on what qualifies in both those categories. I hope in his enterprise that I can advocate for the little people who get unfairly dumped on, and to finally set the record straight once and for all on what we as a culture should and shouldn’t detest. I am, of course, qualified to do this.
My only other hope with this blog is that, whenever the death of the human race is, the superior beings who dig up our bones discover it and use it as the Rosetta Stone of our time, and extrapolate the human condition from my thoughts on watermelon Pop-Tarts. Until that point, there’s a lot of bad stuff out there. This is going to hurt.