The end of WOAT?

With my final post in the bag, I am going to bid this blog adieu — at least for right now. It’s been a lot of fun posting about complete garbage week in and week out, and I’ve spent a lot of this semester thinking about things I never would have otherwise, like red hamburgers and Hulk Hogan’s sextape. There have been some ups — I had fun, I was read by 25 different countries (special shoutout to Brazil!) and I almost got to 300 views. And there have been some downs — I had to eat gross stuff and my most popular post wasn’t even written by me. But every step along the way, it has been a treat. This is not a goodbye, because there’s always going to be bad stuff out there in the world. This is just saying, Seacrest out for now.

In Memoriam: Ted Cruz

It’s hard to stay away from politics during an election year, so I’d like to take a moment to recognize those we’ve lost as the 2016 election makes everybody feel dirty on the inside. Just last night, Canada’s very own Ted Cruz announced he was dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination. Beaten-to-death jokes about the Zodiac Killer aside, Cruz was responsible for many of the race’s most horrifying moments, and I don’t just mean his policies.

This video made the rounds as soon as it happened last November, but let’s take a second to remember just how awful this whole thing is, and how much you hate Cruz for ruining The Princess Bride for you. He really was one of the WOAT, and will not be missed.

Music Monday: DJ Ötzi “Burger Dance”

Fast food is probably the essence of what I cover here at WOAT: it’s by all accounts terrible and bad for you, but you (okay, I) can’t help but stay away from it. The American obsession with fast food is well-documented sociologically and says a lot of interesting things about our culture, but I never would have imagined that a song about Pizza Hut would have gone to no. 1 in Germany.

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Awful Library Books

As it turns out, I am not original and a lot of different sites are out there that try to capture their own little slice of awful. I was perusing a few when I found Awful Library Books, a gem of a blog that makes you think that maybe reading isn’t so essential after all.

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A lot of posts on the blog are for books that are damaged beyond repair or outdated and boring, but plenty are too far into the realm of “why?!” to make up. Case in point: Don’t Make Me Go Back, Mommy: A child’s book about satanic ritual abuse.

Yeah, that’s a real thing. Bonus bad book: Uncle Willy’s Tickles: A Child’s Right to Say No, which apparently was so popular and not-weird-at-all that it got printed in a second edition! For other sentences I thought I’d never type, I guess one edition of Uncle Willy’s Tickles was just not enough.

 

WOAT Food Review: Watermelon Pop-Tarts

I was in the grocery store the other day, absent-mindedly riding on the back wheels of my cart like a child when I laid my eyes on something that seemed too sinister, too eldritch, too grotesque to be true.

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Move over, Wild Berry and other flavors that people actually want: the Watermelon Pop-Tart is here to fill you with dread. As soon as my eyes locked on the juxtaposition of the out-of-season fruit slice with the dry pastry that’s supposed to be its heir, I knew I had to buy them and eat them to see if I hated them.

Continue reading “WOAT Food Review: Watermelon Pop-Tarts”